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Friday, April 22, 2011

My 30th Birthday

Happy Birthday to me, right? I'm not much in a celebrating mood. Having a miscarriage the week of your birthday? Not fun. My last miscarriage (2007) was the week of Mother's Day. Someone is seriously messing with me. I conceived this baby on April Fool's Day and lost him just a few weeks later. His due date would have been Christmas Eve, so I'm sure I'll think about him again then and feel sad all over again.

On a positive note, I believe my miscarriage is now "complete". I'm still getting negative tests and the bleeding has stopped. No signs of infection and no more pain. At least I was able to miscarry in relative peace with no medical intervention required. I'm thankful for the three beautiful children the Lord has blessed me with earthside, and now I have TWO children who will only ever know Heaven as their home. As parents, don't we want the best for our children? You can't get better than that! The bible says that we will be known in Heaven as we were known on Earth, so I "name" the babies I lose. My first was Mac and this one is Jacob. I've always thought of my miscarried babies at boys because I read somewhere that male embryos/fetuses were more likely to be miscarried than females. Hopefully there aren't two sweet girls running around Heaven being called Mac and Jacob!


  1. Oh, Becky! I'm so sorry! I hadn't seen your last entry, so I was still waiting for news from you. I'm so very sorry. Miscarriages are so hard. I will be thinking of you.

    And yes, there are pregnancies which for whatever reason don't register on pregnancy tests. I was just reading one of Navelgazing Midwife's birth stories, and she wrote that she could not get a positive test - and her caregivers also told her she was not pregnant. She didn't get confirmation of her pregnancy until she started to feel movement! So a negative test is not indication of an absolute no.

    I will be thinking of you, my friend!

  2. Those are lovely names and I'm glad to hear it doesn't look like you will need any medical intervention. I gave mine where I didn't know gender neutral names but I figure since heaven is perfect, nobody would have any issues with whether a name is the right gender anyway.

  3. Just dropped by to let you know I'm keeping you in my prayers as you recover.