"I'd forgotten just how extremely tired [it] makes me. It's the weirdest thing having to sit down and rest after doing something simple like sewing Eli a pair of pants or getting the kids a snack."
That's a quote from my friend Sheri's blog. Sheri is going through this for the second time in two years. She has been preparing for this for a few months; getting her house in order, the fridge stocked with foods the kids can get/prepare themselves, summer clothes made, fall curriculum gathered and prepared, freezer foods, recipes for easy foods she or her husband can make. She's been mentally preparing for the physical rigors it brings with it. Coming to terms with the army of needles and tubes preparing to invade her body. She's begun the battle...again. Pretty typical HG right?
Except Sheri doesn't have HG. She has cancer. Again. She's young and has a husband and two small children and she's already fought and beaten cancer once and it's just not fair! It's so hard reading her blog and her facebook updates and knowing that all I can to is offer paltry "support" in the form of a meal and some kind words. I can't really make it any easier or take it away. I can't even join her in the fight. I'm just a witness, and I think...
This is what it's like for my loved ones when I have HG. They must feel so helpless. They must feel so angry. Because unlike Sheri, who didn't choose cancer, I have chosen to continue being open to more children. I have chosen to open myself to the risk of HG over and over again. So who am I to complain? Her sickness is caused by a poison that's not only killing her cancer but also damaging (for a time) her body. Mine is caused by a beautiful new life growing inside of me. She has no guarantee or assurance she'll live through cancer. Hyperemesis is probably not going to kill me, though it gets an A++ for effort.
I'm just feeling very conflicted this morning. I am so very thankful that Sheri has chosen to "blog her cancer". It gives me hope. Is that selfish? I don't know, but it encourages me more than you can imagine. If she can fight cancer, I can fight HG. Again.