I'm a Formula 409 Woman

Has anybody ever wondered about this?

So for years in our country there has been an assault on breastfeeding practices. People think it’s “disgusting” to do in public, it isn’t encouraged in hospitals and the result has been that very few babies are breastfed past six weeks of age, if at all.

Also, birth has been moved from the woman-centered care of homebirth and midwives to the male-centered “business” of hospitals. This has led to a decrease in vaginal birth and a huge increase in abdominal surgical birth.

Then, we have several different birth control pills that “allow” women to have only a few to absolutely no periods.

So, since we aren’t using our breasts for feeding our babies, or our vaginas for menstruation or birth… what are we supposed to do with them?

OH! That’s right… our bodies are to now only serve the sexual desires of men.

My body serves more than one function and if (the collective) you don’t like it then you can buy a blow-up vagina.

Don't you want a doctor?

This was not written by me. I wish I could claim it. My heart claims it though.


This essay was written by Marcela Valle and was posted to the ICAN yahoo group 5/19/07. It was written after she'd had a conversation in which she explained why she was choosing a midwife for her second birth.
It is reprinted here with her permission

Don't you want a doctor?...

It is a question I have been asked, "Don't you want someone who can handle *anything*?" When I heard this question, so many feelings boiled inside me so fast that my answer constituted: "No, because I don't want someone waiting for the slightest opportunity to cut me open again." And, while that holds true, there's so much more than that and it deserves to be put into words…

I don't want a doctor because I believe in my ability to birth. I believe that Mother Nature/Creation/ God(s)-or whomever you revere- have given us the ability and the opportunity to birth, and to go through that passage for a reason. Over the years in North American culture, we have lost sight of such experience and its purpose. It has been said before, that "A child is born, and so is a mother."

I don't want a doctor because they are experts in many things, but not normal birth.

I don't want a doctor because I want a birth attendant who believes in me. An attendant who will empower me, and support me, and tell me to get it together and birth this baby. I choose someone who will encourage me to be educated and make decisions with me, not for me.

I don't want a doctor because I am not making decisions based on fear. I make decisions based on research, and logic and, all the while, I also follow my heart.

I don't want a doctor because, despite widely held beliefs, birth in a hospital is not as safe as birth outside a hospital. Birth with a midwife, at home, is a rational choice.

I do not want a doctor because I am more than a paycheck, a liability, or a 'difficult' patient.

I do not want a doctor because I do not need to wait an hour in a waiting room to be seen for 5 minutes and by someone who needs to look at my chart to know my name. Instead, I want to be welcomed with a hug, offered water, a snack, and have an hour talking about my pregnancy, my feelings, and my birth plans.

I do not want a doctor because I do not need to feel scared about being an inconvenience, or have questions, take too much time, be too "needy" or have too many expectations.

I don't want a doctor because I want to be regarded as a healthy birthing mother. I am not sick, I am not a patient. I am full with life.

I don't want a doctor because birth is NOT an emergency waiting to happen, it is NOT dangerous. A doctor makes you believe birth is unsafe and you need them. After all, they would not have a job otherwise. A midwife trusts the process and allows it to take its course without fitting it into a box or random standards.

I don't want a doctor because I want someone who can handle things without a knife and someone who knows how to help me get the baby into a better position and over a pubic bone, and whatever else, without slicing me open or using torture devices.

I don't want a doctor because my body works. And it works best if not surrounded by strangers poking, probing and interrupting my concentration.

I don't want a doctor because I know I WILL go into labor, my hips are NOT small, they're the perfect size. My baby is NOT too big, my body CAN dilate, I am NOT a failure to progress…I DO NOT need to be saved. By not having a doctor, I AM saving myself.

I don't want a doctor because I don't want him, or a calendar, or a clock to tell me when I HAVE to birth and how fast I need to dilate. My body knows it, my baby knows it. We'll do it when it's time for the baby to be born, and time for me to birth my child.

I don't want a doctor because I don't want to be offered an induction (or be cut open) because it's close to Christmas, Mother's Day, or Labor Day. I won't be hurried because there's a golf game, a cruise, or a date to be made, or it's just inconvenient for me to wake them up at night or to take too long.

I don't want a doctor because I don't want to be imprisoned in a bed "just in case" and I don't want to have to stay still so a machine can work properly and the nurse doesn't have time to come into my room.

I don't want a doctor because I do not need to ask for permission to use the rest room, move around, eat, or have an opinion. Nor, do I need scare tactics and a "dead baby" card when I opt out of a procedure done only to cover the doctor's legal butt.

I do not want a doctor because I appreciate being talked to respectfully, and acknowledged, and being taken into account. I DO WANT TO KNOW, AND I WILL worry my little head about it, after all, it is my birth, my child, and my responsibility to do so.

I don't want a doctor because I don't want an electronic monitor to tell someone how I'm doing or whether I am in pain or not, or if my baby hugs are adequate enough.

I don't want a doctor because I don't want someone to "manage" my birth, and "solve" things by using interventions, which may lead to more interventions, which would be solved with even more interventions

I don't want a doctor because I don't want to be silent. I will groan, and moan, and sing if I want to, and my midwife may sing with me.

I don't want a doctor because* I *will birth my baby. My midwife will be present at my birth but nothing (besides food) will be *delivered*.

I do not want a doctor because I am not birthing on my back, or holding my breath or counting to 10.

I don't want a doctor because I don't want my child to be poked and prodded before we have a chance to hold each other. I want my baby to hear my voice first.

I don't want a doctor because I cannot bear another cut into my uterus and my heart, nor can I bear to watch another baby of mine born into blinding bright lights, deep suctioning, IV's and antibiotics.

I don't want a doctor because I have all it takes: wisdom, strength, courage, faith and a vagina.

I'm here

I'm here, just busy. Currently I'm working on a guest blog post for Nicole at Bellies and Babies

I would like to share with you a quote from War of the Worlds (watched it on tv last night!)

A child is talking with her father about a painful splinter in her hand. The father insists it must be removed right away lest it become infected. The child says, "no, when it's ready my body will push it out".

I need HELP, ADVICE, OPINIONS

Saw this in my local paper today:

Saturday, March 1st
[My City's] Largest Baby Shower
Local Junior College
9am-1pm
For new and expecting parents
Lots of INFO and FREE STUFF!

So, I need ideas. What can I do? It's too late to apply for an actual booth to set up.

I do have two ideas, but I need more!

1. I have these little cards that are business card size. I got them from a local baby item store. I'm planning to litter the bathroom sink counters with them, place them on all the cozy couches that pregnant moms are sure to sit on, and put one on booth tables when I can.


2. Wear a pro-homebirth t-shirt. I actually don't own one yet, so ideas on where to find a nice, affordable one would be wonderful!

So. . . what else can I do?

...and eventually they will believe it.

"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it." ~Adolf Hitler

My doctor said my pelvis is too small to give birth.

My doctor said my baby is too big.

My doctor said because I’m a little overweight that a vaginal birth isn’t safe.

My doctor says a VBAC is too risky.

My doctor says my uterus will explode.

My doctor said a c-section is completely safe.

My doctor said my baby is too small to push her out.

My doctor said I had too much amniotic fluid.

My doctor said I had too little amniotic fluid.

My doctor says ACOG doesn’t recommend VBACs.

My doctor said all breech babies have to be born by c-section.

My doctor says epidurals aren’t dangerous.

My doctor says a c-section is safer than a vaginal birth.

My doctor says home birth is irresponsible.

My doctor says if he doesn’t induce my baby will be too big.

My doctor said I have to have a c-section.

My doctor says that it's perfectly safe to induce two weeks before my due date.

My doctor said I had to have the tests.

My doctor said I have to have an iv.

My doctor said I have to birth in the hospital.

My doctor says my baby is too…

My doctor says my body can’t…

My doctor says it isn’t safe…

My doctor says I don’t have enough…

My doctor says

My doctor says

My doctor says

"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it." ~Adolf Hitler

Wordless Wednesday: The difference between a cesarean and a vbac

I'm a fraud

For all I scream and shout, write, draw, create, nudge, urge, educate, beg and plead, I am still helpless. Because what does any of this matter if I am powerless to help those closest to me?

I have two sisters, sisters, who are pregnant and due within just 3 weeks of each other. First baby for each of them. Sister A and sister H. Sister A has been told by her OB that if her baby weighs more than six (SIX!) pounds, she'll "need" a section. Really? Six pounds? Yes, she's short. All of the women in my family are short. Our mother is just 5'1'' and gave birth to seven children who all weighed right around seven pounds. One of our youngest sisters gave birth at just 14 years old to an almost 8 lb baby.

This section will be SO hard on A, too. She doesn't want it. She doesn't even agree with her doctor that it would be necessary if the baby was over six pounds. This is the only ob/gyn she's ever seen though and she's not comfortable changing care providers. Her plan is to go to the hospital and refuse a section. That's exactly what she'll do, too. She'll go into labor completely on her own. She'll labor at home for as long as she feels is necessary, then she'll go to the hospital and say "I don't want a c-section. I'm fine and my baby is fine." Then her (s)care provider will bully my sister. She'll say she's a bad mother. She'll say she's going to kill her baby. She'll say her body can't handle a baby "that big". Then, A will consent to the section because she doesn't want to be a bad mother and she'll cry as they wheel her into the operating room and strap her to the steel table and cut her baby out. Then A will look at this small, perfectly capable of being pushed out, baby and think, "I could have pushed her out. I wanted to push her out."

And I'll be standing right there. Helpless. I know that look on her face. It says, "why didn't you tell me I could do this? Why did you let this happen to me?"

But I can't help her. She won't hear my words. I can't save my sister from the knife. MY. SISTER. She won't listen. I'm a fraud. She won't hear my words. I can't save my sister from the knife.