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Monday, September 20, 2010

It Ain't Easy Being Green


Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. It's a disgusting picture, isn't it? So is HG. So why, then, why am I looking forward to another baby--another pregnancy? Last night my husband and I were discussing my previous pregnancies and were having a fun argument over how much weight I actually lost and in how much time. He said it wasn't so bad, that 30 lbs in 12 weeks is just a little more than 2 lbs a week. I corrected him, saying that I hadn't started getting sick until week six, so I actually lost 30 lbs in six weeks. That was with my first pregnancy. The rest of our conversation went something like this:

Husband: Yeah, but that was with Sarah. You weren't as sick with the other two.
Me: I know. I only lost 25lbs with Anna and about 15 with Caleb.
Husband: Oh. I forgot how bad it was. [pause] ...and you want to do that again??


The expression on his face said, "I wonder if it would be appropriate to suggest shock therapy?"

Yes, I want to do it again. Again and again and again, Lord willing. What is right and what is worth it are rarely easy. I chose to have a cesarean with Sarah because I cared about her. It wasn't easy. It was scary and painful and lonely, but she was worth it. I planned a (socially unacceptable) HBAC with Caleb, labored for 50+ hours at home and chose to transport to the hospital. For a good southern girl to do anything out of the mainstream required a strength of character I hadn't known I possessed. To labor that long required stamina and faith. To transport to the hospital with the real threat of another section looming required the courage of ten Davids, but he was worth it. When I was told, with my third pregnancy, that I couldn't have a VBAC because no one here attended them, I moved out of state. That decision required that I live as a single mother of a four-year-old and a two-year-old while engaging a third fight with HG, but she was worth it.

Difficult tasks often require of us traits we don't associate with ourselves. Ask any president of any country if his or her job is easy. Ask a doctor what medical school and residency required of him. Ask a judge, a teacher, a soldier, a marathon runner. Their jobs require extreme faith, vigilance, focus, courage, resolve, strength--sacrifice! They do what they do because it's worth it. It's worth it all. I know all of the jobs I mentioned are laudable jobs in today's culture, and people applaud and reward the sacrifices of those who choose them. Everyone has had a mother though, and each mother makes equally noble, soul-searing, courageous sacrifices for her child, even if that choice is nothing more than allowing another, weaker, human-being to live within her body until he's strong enough to live with-out it.

Yes, I'm looking forward to another pregnancy, another baby. Yes it will be one of the most difficult things I've ever done. Yes...he or she is worth it.

4 comments:

  1. I've never suffered with HG and can only imagine how horrible it is, but I believe there is hope. I'm on my eighth pregnancy (currently 11 weeks) and have had NO nausea. With most of my pregnancies I've thrown up almost daily. (Again, I know that's nothing to HG.) But after a lot of prayer and searching before this last pregnancy, I believe I've been divinely guided to find solutions to pregnancy related nausea. I don't know if my solutions would also work for such a severe condition as HG, but it's defintely something to consider.

    I applaud your willingness and desire to have more children even if it means such incredible sacrifice on your part. On a smaller scale I understand that desire despite the hardships.

    I would start now before pregnancy to search for natural remedies for HG. It's amazing how much useful info is out there in cyberspace from women who have trod in your shoes and found answers. It's also amazing how modern medicine has no real, safe solutions to so many things because they discount natural solutions they can't explain with their current scientific model.

    I intend to write a post on my blog soon detailing what I've learned about eliminating pregnancy-related nausea. In the meantime, keep the faith and the hope! I really believe you can have a healthy, comfortable pregnancy.

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  2. I forgot to give you a link to a woman I learned of recently who has severe sickness during pregnancy and who found a natural way to overcome it. Her name is Traci Sellers and her website is http://www.bestfoodist.com/. If you scroll down on the right side you can read a summary of her story. She says with her first pregnancy she lost 30 lbs by the 5 month mark! Yikes. Good luck on your journey. I wish you the best!

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  3. Wow, 30lbs is a lot - I would have been frighteningly underweight if I'd lost that much. I lost about 15lbs in less than a week but thankfully (after being admitted to hospital) didn't lose any more after that. I've read loads and have all sorts of theories as to why I was so sick and what might improve it but I don't know whether I'm right as I haven't had another successful pregnancy yet. I totally agree with you that it is worth it though. I find it really encouraging reading your blog and particularly when you post about HG as I don't know anyone in real life who has had it and I don't think people really appreciate how bad it is.

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  4. I finally wrote my post about a new, quite unorthodox method of reducing/eliminating morning sickness:

    http://birth-joy.blogspot.com/2010/10/woohoo-morning-sickness-cured.html

    I don't know how well it would work for HG but it can't hurt to try.

    Blessings

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