tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4905657459154240355.post2947643168884922697..comments2023-04-29T07:35:06.840-07:00Comments on Refuse to be a Womb Pod: What happens when the child you're given isn't the child you expected?Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03795297107645737278noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4905657459154240355.post-32422602852801799752010-05-06T07:16:04.824-07:002010-05-06T07:16:04.824-07:00Before I had my son I spent 6 years working with s...Before I had my son I spent 6 years working with special needs children, primarily ones on the spectrum. A parent once shared this with me; maybe it will help your sister.<br><br>WELCOME TO HOLLAND<br>by Emily Perl Kingsley.<br><br>I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……<br><br>When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.<br><br>After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”<br><br>“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”<br><br>But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.<br><br>The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.<br><br>So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.<br><br>It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.<br><br>But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”<br><br>And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.<br><br>But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.<br><br>c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley.Katenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4905657459154240355.post-45441795378531660762010-05-06T07:21:10.192-07:002010-05-06T07:21:10.192-07:00I'm leaving this as a separate comment because...I'm leaving this as a separate comment because I didn't want it to get lost. <br><br>It's ok for your sister to grieve but it's important that she stays strong. She needs to be a mama bear and fight for the services and therapies her daughter needs. I know that your niece is very young but early intervention is critical and it can take months (if not years) to get these things going. The good news is that there is a large community of parents out there who are ready and waiting to help guide her through the system; she doesn't have to go it alone.Katenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4905657459154240355.post-87617409290579487942010-05-17T07:16:07.334-07:002010-05-17T07:16:07.334-07:00Wow. Interesting post. My sister just had her 4th ...Wow. Interesting post. My sister just had her 4th baby at 3AM this morning. I think that news would rock her world. Great topic.Everyday Songhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14924575585098159701noreply@blogger.com